Veteran drag racer Mike Etter gets his licks out of Funny Cars
Sports Motorsports
Tim Miller

08 August 2002
The Hamilton Spectator

'This is fun. And the day I stop having fun is the day I sell the business." Fun for Mike Etter is donning multiple layers of fireproof clothing, encapsuling himself in a claustrophobic race car with 2800 horsepower, and going as fast as he can in a quarter mile.

The Waterdown resident is one of a handful of Canadians participating in the upper echelon of International Hot Rod Association (IHRA) competition. He and his team campaign an alcohol-powered Funny Car in a class which may not be the quickest in the drag racing world, but running the quarter-mile under six seconds at over 240 mph is not your average daily drive.

Etter, 50, has raced for 30 years, from running a Super Pro class dragster at Dragway Park to running supercharged nitro-powered Funny Cars when he lived in Alberta. He still holds his top Funny Car licence and is one of very few Canadians who does.

In the mid-1980s, Etter returned to Ontario and competed in Super Pro and Bracket racing. After a nasty accident in 1990, his racing was low key, but late in 2000 he wanted to return to the quicker classes, and purchased the complete alcohol Funny Car operation of Barry and Todd Paton of Paris.

"Last year was a learning curve," Etter explained. "Nobody on the crew had any experience except myself. But the guys are young, willing and moldable."

Included on Etter's team are crew chief Peter DiSilva of Toronto, Arn Kashino of Mississauga, Lee Kuhn, and Keith and Vicky Crofton, all of Brantford.

"I'm willing to go through a learning curve with them," he added. "This goes back to my Mohawk College teaching days. I'm starting to put a lot of trust in them, especially Peter. They give 150 per cent all the time and they're all volunteering. I treat them like gold."

But, unlike some other drivers, Etter is not afraid to get his hands dirty.

"I'm still a hands-on guy. The word prima donna is not in my vocabulary," he said.

Funny Cars are very popular with the fans. Starting back in the mid 1960s as altered wheelbased stock-appearing cars, the class has evolved into the present front-engined, ground-thumping brutes with caricatures for bodies.

IHRA rules state the car must weigh 2200 pounds. The 518-cubic inch Chrysler Hemi derived engine is supercharged and fuel-injected, and delivers an honest 2800 horsepower. This power is transmitted through a clutch and three-speed transmission to back tires which are 17.5 inches wide and 34.5 inches tall.

Some technical comparisons are in order between this car and the one you drive on the street.

The engine in Etter's car holds 18 litres of oil, good for four blasts down the track. And this oil has a molasses viscosity rating of 60, double your daily driver 10W30 variety. The car runs a 13.5 to 1 compression ratio, your daily ride is 8.5 to 1. Oil pressure in your car is about 50 to 60 psi (pounds per square inch) on the highway. Etter's TFX Hemi has 130 psi when cold.

If a connecting rod bearing is 6 1/1,000th of an inch out of spec, it is thrown away.

"If it isn't, the rod will come out and smile at you," said Etter.

So you get the idea the engine is very tight and subjected to lots of pressures when it gets wound up to 9000 rpm.

The parts for this powerplant are not cheap.

Etter's two engines, one in the car and one spare, are worth about $60,000 each. The blower, or supercharger, which forces huge amounts of air and fuel into the engine, costs $10,000. The fuel injector is worth $3,000. Even the blower belt, which looks like a wide heavy-duty fan belt, is $180.

And all these prices are in U.S. funds.

Etter's Firebird-bodied car burns about five gallons of alcohol per run at just over $2 per gallon. So at about 10 gallons per mile, this car won't win any mileage contest.

But it can win drag races. Etter's best to date has been a 5.95-second, 243 mph run in Illinois earlier this year.

In IHRA competition for 2002, the team has always made the show. It may not win the big prize (yet), but the team usually comes home with some winnings. At the recent IHRA meet in Michigan, the team won about $3,000, which more than paid for expenses and minor parts.

Etter estimates to campaign in his passion, the race car, spare parts, trailer, and motorhome is about a $250,000 US ($394,000 Cdn) bill, and there is no major sponsorship, but the team is always looking.

"I'm always negotiating for sponsors," explained Kashino, who handles that end of the business. "But it's tough when you're Canadian and there isn't much exposure."

Obviously Etter is the glue holding the team together. But he's also the driver and, as with most race car drivers at this level, he is low key about his skills and technique.

He explained that since he has raced for so many years, the driving comes naturally.

"The drive is a motor function," he said. "I'm always listening for that 9000 rpm shift."

He also thinks that his years as a keyboard musician has helped him obtain a "feel" for driving the car.

A mechanic in Burlington, Etter would like to race as a professional and looks forward to the off-track promotional aspects of racing, where he'd enjoy promoting drag racing at a high school level. And he wouldn't hesitate to drive a nitro-powered car once more.

"Nothing would please me more than to be with a car that is fed with pop," he said.

Etter and the gang will be on hand for the IHRA AC Delco Canadian Nationals at Toronto Motorsport Park outside of Cayuga this weekend.

There will be qualifying and eliminations for all Sportsman and Pro classes throughout the three-day event.